Life, as an attempt to scale the face of a mountain:
The path of the stable life I lived four months ago mostly consisted of choosing between a multitude of possible responsibilities that composed my strongholds to real life, allowing me to climb securely: friends, family, school. Each of these offered safety, security: a good future full of things I loved. But the sheer number of great possible holds overwhelmed me at times, and I found it difficult to climb quickly with a pack of expectations weighing down my back.
The life I’ve lived these past four months has allowed me to ascend untethered, light as a bird, with few holds grounding me to real life. And the vertigo I felt when a hold I once thought was stable fell out from under me was amplified to the extreme – I was sure I would fall, because I didn’t know what else I had to hold on to.
But I’ve learned to create new holds. Chisel them in one-by-one, changing the shakiest ones into the strongest. I’ve learned I can drop my own expectations to lighten the load.
The most important thing for me to keep in mind is that it’s my route. I determine what’s important to me: where I get to go, what I get to carry, and what I have to hold on to.
thoughts 